


I Won't Give Up

by CBFirestarter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz, M/M, Minor Angst, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Season/Series 12, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, Songfic, What if - Post Episode 12-23
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 06:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12205854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CBFirestarter/pseuds/CBFirestarter
Summary: After losing Cas and then getting him back Dean is done tempting fate and makes a decision that could change his and Castiel's lives forever.  Short fic based around the song "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz.





	I Won't Give Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something that popped into my head hearing this song and it begged to be written... enjoy :)  
> PS: Thanks Ellen of Oz for the edit

Dean should have known, should have always known, and now thinking back on it, he's sure that he did know, on some level. The first time he saw him and those terrifying sharp blue eyes, he knew he was looking at one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.   
  
_When I look into your eyes,_ _  
__it's like watching the night sky_  
  
The depth and courage he saw there drew him in like a moth to a flame.  
  
_Or a beautiful sunrise,_ _  
__well, there's so much they hold_  
  
Castiel had an immeasurable span of experience, a view of the world that Dean could never really begin to grasp. Thousands of years, likely more than that spent watching the earth, watching humanity. It made him feel small, insignificant. Why would this ageless warrior of heaven care about Dean Winchester? But he did care; he had saved Dean, and not just his body, but his soul.   
  
_And just like them old stars_ _  
__I see that you've come so far_ _  
__To be right where you are_ _  
__How old is your soul?_  
  
Looking back now, he wonders how he didn't know that he loved him.  
  
Castiel is sleeping, resting, tucked up in a trench coat burrito in the back seat. Dean's eyes dart to his still form, waiting, watching. He's seen Castiel die, more than once, felt the pain in his chest like a piece of him was chipped away. This time though... this felt different, this was different. Watching the angel blade press through his chest, the bright, piercing light burning Castiel up from the inside out. It had snapped something in Dean, something that he could never put back the way it had been. He had known then that he loved him... and that he had been too late.   
  
_Well, I won't give up on us_ _  
__Even if the skies get rough_ _  
__I'm giving you all my love_ _  
__I'm still looking up_  
  
Even after all this time, it still amazes Dean when Castiel comes back to him. This time, Dean feels like he willed Castiel back into existence. It hadn't actually been him, he knows that. He's just one man, despite how Cas looks at him. Dean had sent up his silent prayer to that night sky, his soul calling to him, calling to the other half of him, to come back. It had been the child of Light Bringer who had put light back into Castiel, breathing life back into him. But a small part of Dean believes that Castiel found his way back, like he always did, because of Dean.  
  
Dean can see Castiel has changed.  He may not see souls the way Castiel can but he sees the change all the same. Human, and confused and lost, Castiel is adrift. He glances again in the rear-view at the sleeping form as it stretches and settles back into sleep. No matter how lost Cas feels, Dean has no intention of losing him ever again, even if that means letting him go.  
  
_And when you're needing your space_ _  
__To do some navigating_ _  
__I'll be here patiently waiting_ _  
__To see what you find_  
  
Dean pulls into the closest motel and has to carry Castiel bridal-style into their room. The man mumbles against his chest and Dean is loath to put him down, savoring the temporary contact. He lays him on the bed and pulls off his shoes, slipping him under the covers.  
  
He thinks back to the last time Castiel was human. The night the angels fell like stars,  plummeting out of the sky. Tears burn his eyes at the memory, his greatest failure. He won't let history repeat itself, he will help Castiel through this, no matter what he needs.   
  
_'Cause even the stars they burn_ _  
__Some even fall to the earth_ _  
__We've got a lot to learn_ _  
God knows we're worth it_  
 _No, I won't give up_  
  
He has learned from his mistakes, even though they have been many, and he believes that they deserve this, another chance to get it right this time. He's never really felt worth much of anything on his own, but what he and Cas could have... that has to be worth everything.  
  
The night carries on and Dean sits watching the rise and fall of Cas’ chest. Dean’s glad Sam isn't here to see him, even though Sam knows how Dean felt. But knowing it and seeing it plastered across his face are two different things. Maybe Sam knows Dean needs this time, and that's why he hadn't come with them. Sam always seems to know things before Dean; it's maddening sometimes.   
  
He wonders if Cas knows, if he saw it in his eyes when he gasped that first breath. Feel it with how tight Dean held him. Knew the tears he shed were different this time.  
  
Eventually sleep finds him. He wakes to find an empty bed next to him. Dean startles, but looking around, he sees the silhouette of Cas walking across the parking lot of the motel. Dean's heart bangs in his chest as he bolts out of bed to go after him.

He finds Castiel sitting on a picnic table down by the lakeside. He hadn't even noticed the lake when he pulled in the night before. After watching Castiel die by the water not two days before, it unsettles him. He approaches slowly, not wanting to startle him.   
  
"Cas? You okay, man?"   
  
Castiel continues to stare out at the lake. "I am as well as can expected. The sleep did me good, though I don't remember us arriving here."   
  
Dean walks over and sits next to Castiel, rubbing awkwardly at his neck. "Yeah, we got in late and I put you to bed. You seemed pretty out of it."   
  
"Thank you Dean, I suppose once I am back to full strength I will have to start sorting everything out."

Dean frowns at that a moment.   
  
_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_   
_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_   
  
"I'm here to help you, Castiel. You aren't alone, you know that, right?"   
  
_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use_   
_The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake_   
  
"I understand, Dean, but I... I am not sure how I will fit into all of this anymore. What good am I human?"   
  
"Don't say that, alright? I'm ‘just human’ and that's not nothing, right?" He uses Castiel's patented air quotes to make his point.

This earns him a small smile from the former angel.   
  
"I'm not you though, Dean. You've always been... extraordinary."

Dean barks a laugh.   
  
"I don't have anything you don't. Whether you're human, angel... temporary god complex… " That last one earns him a scowl. "Whatever you are, Castiel, you are my friend and family, and the rest we’ll figure out."   
  
_And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend_   
_For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn_   
  
"We've been through a great deal. I'm glad to know I still have your friendship."

Dean glances over at the man beside him. He is truly human now. Taking a breath, his hand closes the small distance between them, lacing Castiel's long fingers with his own.

Castiel's breath catches for a second as he stares down at their hands in confusion. That damn adorable tilt to the head tells Dean the man he loves is still in there, and thank God some things never change.   
  
"Cas, you'll always have me, okay? It's taken me a long time to figure this all out, who I am, where I fit in and what I want from life. I think I've got it as figured out as I can and if you need time to do that I'll be here."   
  
_We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in_   
_I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am_   
  
"You make it sound easy, when I know it was anything but. Are you telling me that Dean Winchester is without doubt?" Castiel turns to peer into Dean's face now with something like fascination.   
  
"I uh- wouldn't go that far Cas, I'm still not sure how it always feels like the damn fate of the universe is getting dumped in my lap all the time. But some things, some things I wasn't sure on before, I think I get now." Dean struggles, unsure how much to say. Words were never his strong suit.

Castiel looked back out at the water and begins to absentmindedly rub his thumb over the back of Dean's hand.  
  
_I won't give up on us_   
_Even if the skies get rough_   
  
"And what exactly is it that you've figured out, Dean?" Castiel tips his head down, and for the first time Dean watches a small blush creep up the man's cheeks. It gives him just the bit of courage he needs.   
  
_I'm giving you all my love_   
_I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up._   
  
"I uh- I love you Cas... I think I always have, and I know now that I always will." Dean swallows hard and stares at his shoes a moment. His heart has gone back to pounding away in his chest, the fear of rejection building and threatening to overtake him.   
  
"I love you too, Dean."

Dean twists in his seat to stare into a warm and glowing face. Castiel gives his hand a little squeeze and the smile crinkles around his lovely blue eyes.   
  
"You do? Like, love me in the your my brother kind of way or... in the I really wanna kiss your face off kinda way?" He has to know, and Castiel is so literal with everything he needs to be sure.   
  
"If you kiss me, Dean, I could show you how very far from brotherly my feelings are?"

Dean freezes, watching the mischievous look dance across Castiel's face, inviting him.  
  
_Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)_   
_God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)_   
_We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)_   
_God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)_   
  
Dean raises his free hand, cupping the rough, stubbled cheek. Slowly he runs his thumb over those pink lips, instinctively licking his own. He closes the distance between them painstakingly slowly, giving Cas every opportunity to bail. But he doesn't bail; he leans in until their noses touch and breath passes between them.

Then with the tilt of a head, Dean's world flips on its axis once again as his lips find Castiel's.   
  
_I won't give up on us_   
_Even if the skies get rough_   
_I'm giving you all my love_  
 _I'm still looking up_  
  
So much time lost, so many things left unsaid, all the pain, all the heartache the world inflicted on them, and that they inflicted on each other. It all melts away in that kiss, like it has all been leading up to this.   
  
"I won't give up on us, not ever," Dean breathes when they pull apart, foreheads resting together.   
  
"Us... I like the sound of that." Castiel smiles, wrapping his arms around Dean and pulling him in close.

  
Dean looks up at the sky and for the first time in his life, feels like things are exactly as they should be. 


End file.
